1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks, once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "For smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. With a serious face order a diet water whenever you go out to eat .
11. Specify that your drive through order is "To Go."
12. Sing along at the Opera
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run fast, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy we are going to have to let one of you go!"
Funny Skye! Congrats on your new blog! I'll be sure to visit inbetween work,paying bills, feeding/driving kids, and monthly sex.
ReplyDeleteWell, I did call it your WEEKLY injection, KJ, so therefore you only have to come around here once a week or so :D
ReplyDeleteCheers
I do like this! The ways to keep yourself sane are good because they are actually do-able. I love these.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed them Etta. I had mentioned them to one of the cashiers at a local store, he said to me "Can I come with you when you park your car with the blow dryer? I've gotta see that!"
ReplyDeleteSo, I guess at the very least, I'll be doing that one come nicer weather :D
As it turns out, after reading (I believe it was a post you did) that post about the weenis, I had to go to the store to pick something up. I saw that same cashier and told him if he was going to continue to be cheeky to me, I'd have to pinch his weenis. Other cashiers heard this and started to laugh, he turned bright red and asked me what a weenis is. The girls who had over heard the convo told me not to tell him, that they would at the end of shift.
The next time I saw him in there, he came up to me, pinched my elbow and said, "I got your weenis before you could get mine!" It was absolutely priceless, of course some older people had to overhear this time and were shocked out of their trees. But hey, that just made it all the more funny!