Wednesday, May 6

If My Body Were A Car

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull .... 

But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. 

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. 

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. 

But here's the worst of it -- 
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Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter..... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

I got this from an e-mail some time ago, and unfortunately I deleted it without saving the pics :( Now I can't seem to find them to include them here. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did :D

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18 comments:

  1. nobodyMay 6, 2009 at 10:23 PM

    I just leave mine up on blocks and let it rust. Once in a blue moon I wonder if I should do something about it and I just look at it and think, 'Nah...'

    ReplyDelete
  2. SkyeMay 7, 2009 at 6:05 AM

    You only think about it once a year, huh? Wow, I'm not sure if that's impressive or sad, Nobody!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tracy Rambles On And OnMay 7, 2009 at 3:46 PM

    I'm ready for a trade in as well.
    I want a new one that is healthy, perky in the places it's supposed to be, and with the ability to eat as much as I want and still not get over 120 pounds.

    ReplyDelete
  4. the SilverfishMay 7, 2009 at 9:51 PM

    I think that I should be like nobody and put you up on blocks an maybe polish yuh down once or twice a year.Or maybe just check yer oil, rotate yer tires an such. God only knows Yuh wouldn't pass the safety inspection anymore, what with all the rust and the sagging bumpers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SkyeMay 8, 2009 at 5:51 AM

    If only, hey Tracy!?!

    Hahahaaaa, oh Silv, you crack me up! I'm glad you don't put me up on a pedestal like that :D

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  6. UnknownMay 9, 2009 at 6:24 AM

    Skye, I have seen this before and really enjoyed it. I feel like an old model T ford. Someone has to crank me to get me going. Ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  7. SuzanneMay 9, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    Wow that describes me to a T!
    It's a drag getting old.

    ReplyDelete
  8. SkyeMay 10, 2009 at 6:44 AM

    Etta, I know the feeling, if I'm going to get going, I need a good crank too. Silv's a pretty good crank, he get's me going more often than not! :D

    Sue, that has got to be the best way to describe getting old, a drag. You drag your body out of bed, you drag yourself to the kitchen to cook up something to eat, and at the end of the day, you drag yourself back off to bed. Yep, getting old is a drag alright!

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  9. MikeMay 10, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    They have garments for backfires nowadays.

    Just saying.

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  10. AnonymousMay 10, 2009 at 12:45 PM

    Ha! I love it. And unfortunately very true for me too!

    ReplyDelete
  11. nobodyMay 10, 2009 at 9:36 PM

    It's a drag race dig it! Zero to sixty in ten seconds! The world a blur, screaming past your window! Vroom!

    ReplyDelete
  12. SkyeMay 11, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    Welcome to the funny half of my blogging home Mike, and yes, I'm aware of the "garments for backfires", although I can't say they're comfy :D

    I'm glad you enjoyed that Quirky, and a mighty big welcome to you as well :)

    Ah Nobody, nobody can say it like nobody else :P

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  13. DebMay 13, 2009 at 8:37 PM

    Try an iced coffee with a shot of espresso. It's like high octane with jet fuel.

    ReplyDelete
  14. SkyeMay 14, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    Yikes Deb, although that does sound like a really great beverage, I'm not too sure about the jet fuel part :D I do enjoy iced capp's and make my own, sometimes even with homemade instant espresso's or latte's (cooled down of course)!

    ReplyDelete
  15. CocoDivaDogMay 14, 2009 at 4:46 PM

    LOL re: Mike's comment!
    BTW I think this is my first time here.
    What a funny photo at the top of your blog.
    Do you have cats?
    I used to own cats. I miss them.
    Now I have two dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  16. SkyeMay 15, 2009 at 12:38 PM

    Hi Auntie, yes this is your first time here, welcome to the funny half of my blogging home :)

    No, I don't have cats, but I do have dogs, well, Silv does anyway (Silv, aka Silverfish, being my bestest friend in the whole world and my boyfriend). Me, I'm more a cat person to be honest, but I love his Hounds to death! As for that pic, well, I just googled funny animal pics and that's what I found. I figured it would be perfect since 2 blogs, this one, the "comedy" side, and the other which would be the "tragedy" half. If you're interested, there is a link on the top of the side bar there.

    Thanks for coming around!

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  17. AnotherLindaMay 16, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    IF MY BODY WERE A CAR was written by Linda S Amstutz and you can view the copyright at http://www.braceguard.com/ifmybodywereacar.htm If you wish to use my essay on your blog, please add this under the title of the essay "c2003 Linda S Amstutz. If you want to read more by Ms Amstutz, visit her blog at http://anotherlinda.blogspot.com". If you do not wish to add my byline and blog address, then please remove my copyrighted material from your blog.

    Thank you. Linda

    ReplyDelete
  18. SkyeMay 16, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    Thanks for the links Linda, and welcome to my blogging home :)

    ReplyDelete

I've decided to use comment moderation simply because that way, I never miss a new comment on my posts. I'm really quite forgetful and tend to not remember how many comments had been in each post the last time I looked, so please bare with me and my memory lapses :)

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