Ok, I Have To Apologize!

In my last post, I made mention of the fact that I could not believe anyone would need such common sense instructions as to wait till the power came back on, in order to turn on a coffee maker when the power is out.  I also pointed out that my very own sister asked me to check my computer when MY power was out.  I should have known that instructions such as those previously mentioned, are indeed necessary!  I should have, like really folks, how much more proof did I need?

Apparently I needed more.  My Grams called me earlier.  She was worried that there was something wrong with her brother-in-laws phone.  She had tried to call him no less than 6 times, and kept getting the same message.  

I should have asked her what the exact words were, but nooooo, I didn't think of that!  I asked her what the problem was!  BIG mistake, here folks, I know better, I do, honestly!  Please believe me!?!

Ok, so you don't believe me, I don't either, so I can't blame you alright!?!

Anywhoo's-it, Grams says that a woman keeps telling her she's dialed the wrong number.  So I ask what number are you dialing?  She reads off the number to me.  It's the right number.  Ok, there's something fishy going on here!  How can you dial the same number that I have, and be told it's the wrong number?  I tell Grams to hang up the phone, I'll make the call and find out what's wrong.  She says thank you.

So I call my great-uncle, and this is the message I get "Hi, you've reached so-'n'-so.  I'm not home right now, so please leave a message after the beep."  I leave a message saying that Grams is trying to get ahold of him, but keeps being told she's dialed the wrong number, hense my calling, can you please call her to let her know you're ok?

I call Grams back, and tell her this.  She tells me that's the same message she gets.  WHAT!!! You get a message that he's not home, and you tell me that it's the wrong number?  Geez!!!

I don't argue with her, that would be rude, I just tell her that I asked him to call her.  She says, get this, she had talked to him this MORNING and that he didn't have time to chat at that moment, BUT that he'd call her back later this EVENGING!  Grams called me at 6, the evening hadn't even technically started yet!  I called my great-uncle for no reason!  Ok, so he's a sweet man, and I love him to death, he's one of the very few family members I have any respect for.  But common, if someone says they'll call later that night, give 'em a chance to do it before you start harrassing them and then having your granddaughter harrass them for you!

I have got to learn patience in dealing with people who just don't get it.  Honestly though, I just don't get why other's can't seem to get the simple parts of life.  Some day's it's just really hard to be me.

Space Age Coffee

Well, my coffee maker went on the fritz and so I had to buy a new one.  I thought about doing what I usually do and get a second hand one for anywhere between $5 & $15, but couldn't find a 12 cup one this time around.  The reason I tend to get second hand coffee makers is that the last couple of times I had bought new, they lasted about a month and then died.  The twice used ones tended to last around 3 or 4 years.  Seemed like the smarter choice to me...lol.

Anywhoo's-it, I ended up buying new this time.  It retails (according to looking it up on-line) for $99.  The store I bought it at was selling them for $79.99, but this particular box had a sales ticket on it for $49.99.  I decided to get it.  What I hadn't noticed was that there was a second sales ticket on it for $34.99.  When I went to pay, that's the price that came up and I damn near shouted "Whoohoooo" due to the great price for a top-notch model coffee maker, brand named "Oster"!

This coffee maker is so high-tech that I actually had to read the manual to see how to set up the clock and timer.  I got it all set up, ran plain water through it in accordance to directions and then proceeded to brew my first pot of coffee.  This machine is GREAT!  That was the best cup of coffee I've ever had in my life! (At least in regards to plain coffee, that is).  So now I'm the proud owner of a top-of-the-line coffee maker and I got it on the cheap. Damn I'm proud of myself :D.

After all was said and done, and I was half-way through the pot of coffee, Silv came into my kitchen to get himself a cup.  He had been sleeping up to this point, and hadn't even known that I had gone out to get a new machine.  When he saw my new kitchen toy, he said, "This machine needs a space ship built around it!"  He looked at it, played with the buttons for a bit, noticed that the clock had 120 minutes on it and asked what that was all about.  "Well," say's I, "That's not technically the clock." I pressed a button below the timer and the actual clock appeared showing the correct time.  "What was that on the display then?" he asked.  "That, my dear sweet kitchen slut, is the fresh brew timer.  It shows you just how long it took to brew the pot of coffee, and lets you know also how long it's been on the warmer for.  Once the minute hand reaches 120 minutes, it shuts the machine off.  It even warns you that it's doing so by ringing a bell."

Fast forward a bit and Silv and I are playing on our computers, as we are wont to do.  The coffee pot was empty, so he brewed another.  As he's doing this, I just had to laugh!  I suppose he was turning it on when all I heard coming from the kitchen was "Engage!"  Once the bell rang to let us know that the pot was done brewing he decided to be nice and go get us each a cup.  Now I was laughing even harder!  Coming from the kitchen were the sounds of Star Trek! "Oster, Folgers, 2 cups, black, hot!"   

Silv was so impressed by this coffee maker, that he went out to the store and bought himself one.  

Ooooohhhh, I almost forgot!  Silv decided to read the manual as well, only he went so far as to read the troubleshooting pages.  I hadn't done that!  Oh man did he start to laugh!  "This page must have been written for blondes" say's he, "The possible causes and solutions are even repeated for those that have bleached their hair blonde!"

"What are you talking about?" I ask, "Here, read", he says.  And so I read:

Problem: The "Brew Now" light does not light up.

Possible Cause #1:  The appliance is unplugged

Solution: Plug unit in!

Possible Cause #2: There's a power outage.

Solution: Wait for power to be restored!

Problem: The coffee is not brewing.

Possible Cause #1: The appliance is unplugged

Solution: Plug unit in!

Possible Cause #2: There's a power outage.

Solution: Wait for power to be restored.

Possible Cause #3: The decanter is not completely on the warming plate.

Solution: Place decanter on warmer plate!

Problem: The coffeemaker only brews water.

Possible Cause: There are no coffee grounds in the filter basket.

Solution: Add coffee grounds!

Problem: The filter basket overflows.

Possible Cause #1: The decanter is not completely on the warmer plate.

Solution: Place decanter on warmer plate!

Possible Cause #2: The decanter lid is not on decanter.

Solution: Place lid on decanter.

Problem: The coffee is not hot.

Possible Cause #1: There's a power outage.

Solution: Wait for power to be restored.

Possible Cause #2: Auto Shut-Off has been activated.

Solution: For best results brew a fresh pot.

You just gotta wonder if there really are people out there that can't figure things like this out for themselves!  I made mention of that to Silv when he reminded me of my very own sister.  He said "Um, Skye, don't you remember your sister calling you last winter?  First she asked if your power was out too, to which you said 'yes' and then she asked you to check the computer to see if school was cancelled, did she not?  And just how were you to do that, when the power was out?"

*Insert Homer Simpson forehead slap here* DOH I guess I just had my very own blonde moment!

Children’s views on:

1 Nudity: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2 Opinions: On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
(What do you think, is this child the "Little Johnny" of all the jokes)

3 Ketchup: A woman was toiling to get ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer it. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

4 More Nudity: A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The boy watched in amazement and then asked "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

5 Police #1: While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

6 Police #2: It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

7 Elderly: While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

8 Dress-up: A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning!"

9 Death: Walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly wilted his collar. It seems, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, dug a hole, and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonn, and into the hole he goes."

10 School: A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

11 Bible: A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" with astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"